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Philanthropist Am I?

I may be too self-centric, but sometimes I think myself as a philanthropist. Not exactly, though. I’m not very fond of giving money to others, but other things, that can’t be counted, measured, or exchanged, by money.

In my mind, I like to be an altruist. At least among my friends. This has proven to be very inconvenient and unsatisfactory both for me (especially) and for others. The “I didn’t ask for your help, did I?” line in Crash definitely confirms this, and I have to realize my mistake, then do something about it.

I think I need to switch my mindset, to reciprocal altruism or Tit for tat. I’ve been doing “tit for tat” to a few people when I realize that they don’t realize that what I’m doing to them is exactly (or at least similar to) what they have been doing to me. But The Evolution of Cooperation has proven that “tit for tat” is one of the (if not the) best strategy for this problem.

Even until now, though, every strategy I used seem to be failing in many ways. I might as well just be an egoist, as many people already think of me that way.

Lex Luthor used to be somewhat altruistic and philanthropic. But his life experiences has failed him, and eventually turned him to what he becomes–vicious, ruthless, merciless criminal mastermind. It’s quite likely that I will somewhat follow Lex’s path. I hope someday I’ll be able to discuss my similarities to Lex.

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